the talking plants
green thumb
In the past, I think I killed nearly every plant I owned. No joke. Even the ones that are so-called “easy” for people like us to take care of.
“You can neglect these plants and they’ll be fine.”
Straightforward enough. Clearly, I’ll just water them and put them in the sun as plants need. *Me so proud of myself for taking care of them!*… Little did I know, I was actually overwatering and providing too much sunlight. Completely disregarding the previous statement. ^^
During the time my plants were dying (R.I.P.), I couldn’t help but think it was a direct reflection of how my life was going - as if my plants were my fortune teller. I’m not too sure I believe in someone having the ability to predict information about a person’s life, let alone my plants but lowkey these plants were trying to speak to me.
Over a year ago, I graduated from nursing school, passed the NCLEX, and got myself a job at a hospital as an RN. I was extremely eager like any new grad would be starting a new job; finally getting to do what I have always wanted.
I was in the float pool which meant I would go wherever staff was needed between the two hospitals, so every unit. To put it simply, I’d float to whoever needed the MOST help. If that doesn’t sound like a question on a nursing exam…
Nursing exams :
1) *a picture of four oranges* Which one is the MOST orange?
Anyways, after several months, that spark began to dwindle and the shifts were catching up with me. I was sleeping all the time, never working out, and constantly stressed.
In other words, my mental health was shit.
I hadn’t realized just how bad my well-being had gotten; I was stuck in this everlasting loop.
Oversleeping like it was my second job and I’d justify it by telling myself it was what I needed. Just like I thought I was helping my plants; I believed I was bettering myself by getting “needed” sleep. When obviously, in reality, I was doing more damage than good.
The transition from a nursing student to a nurse was a difficult adjustment. It’s not something you can truly be prepared for. You kind of just have to get thrown in the deep end and hope you swim. For clinicals, students are assigned one patient and we would spend hours prepping the night before; making sure you knew every little detail cause there would for sure be questions.
~ whereas ~
A nurse, you are taking care of five patients at a time and the only information you get is what is mentioned during report at shift change.
I by no means miss prepping my life away but going from solely focusing on one patient to now five was hard.
I did get more confident taking care of that many patients, as most do with practice, but overall, it didn’t make me feel any better. I was starting to question if I had made the right career choice and I hated that. Again, being a nurse is something I have always wanted to do. Yet, there was so much negativity this profession was giving me at that time. Granted, some of it may have been self-inflicted, like choosing to oversleep and not exercise, however, it all stemmed from working nights in that hospital.
In addition, I struggled with the fact that I was hardly seeing Zakhary. I’d get home from work in the morning and he’d be getting ready to leave. We did our fair share of long-distance for five years and I wasn’t going to continue to not see him very often especially since he was now out of the marines and we lived together.
After several conversations and lots of contemplation, I finally did it - thanks to Zakhary. He really did provide me with the courage I needed to pull the trigger.
November 2022
was when I quit. Soon after I started interviewing and accepted another job, where I am SO much happier and so are my plants.
Currently, I have over 20 plants and they are all thriving! Besides my job, I couldn’t tell you what changed or what I’m doing/not doing. Believe it or not, I even have a favorite plant store here in town, Oak Creek Plants & Flowers. I never thought I would get excited about new shipments coming in but here we are - I get excited about plants. #adulting
I’ll tell you all about my new job, life, relationships, health, and wellness, the whole *411*, as Zakhary would say. That’s what this blog is for! And I hope you continue to stick around. But until the next post, be your own sun, stay present, quit the job, and be nice to your plants… they could be trying to talk to you.
Oh and ehh most importantly be nice to yourself <3
Amelia
